How to tell if you are suffering from social anxiety

It’s morning. You wake up and suddenly your heart starts beating a bit fast, you feel you have butterflies in your stomach. You are still sleepy and tired but you are too anxious to stay in bed. You feel you have a lump in your throat, you want to run away so you walk from room to room trying to calm down. It doesn’t help. Now you have palpitations so you head for the window, open it and hope that the fresh air will help calm you down. After several minutes you start to breathe normally but you are visibly shaken. What was that? Is something wrong with your heart, you wonder? You start to imagine all sorts of things.

What you experienced was actually what is called “morning anxiety”. If it happens frequently then it can be attributed to stress.

Stress has a way of showing up in various forms, in ways you wouldn’t imagine. It can cause illnesses and mental problems, like anxiety and panic attacks, and social withdrawal. A curious example, which actually happened: a friend of mine was attending a concert by the beach. Suddenly this strong wind came out of nowhere. The stage lights were blown off stage, music sheets were flying all over the place, as was sand. Chairs and tables were flown into the sea. My friend got the fright of his life. He thought a tsunami was coming, that’s it, he said, it’s the end. Fortunately, after a while the wind stopped and it was announced that what happened was that a small tornado had passed by. After several days my friend noticed big black spots flying around his right eye. He went to the eye doctor who told him what it was and explained that this kind of thing can be caused by a strong form of stress. There you have it! Stress was the culprit.

With the kind of lifestyle we lead today, where it’s all a rush-rush - rush to take the kids to school, rush to work, rush to the supermarket, rush to the gym, rush here and there -no wonder we suffer from stress. You can’t avoid being stressed out.

It’s worse if you are introverted or reserved. Going out and dealing with people can be plain torture. You get anxious, you get nervous just at the thought of going out. It can get so bad that you avoid going out altogether. You get a medical certificate for the office and lock yourself home. You don’t answer the phone, you don’t answer the doorbell. You’re not available for anyone. Will hiding from everyone cure your anxiety? Yes, as long as you stay secluded at home. You feel safe. You don’t have to confront yourself with others.

Just not to be bored, you log into Facebook. Here you see all your friends happy, smiling, having the time of their life. They don’t have problems, not a care in the world. How lucky they are! You feel miserable. Your anxiety gets worse. You feel your self-esteem going lower and lower. You feel inadequate,  you start thinking that you are such a loser. 

Before you lose your mind, find a life coach and enroll in a personal development course.

Personal Development will Make You Wanted

When we speak about personal development, we are talking about improving the self.

Self-improvement can be achieved by working on skills that you already have or training to get new skills, by building your confidence  and becoming more motivated. The basic characteristic of personal development is an increase in self-awareness. You need to identify your strong points and weak ones. It’s kind of complicated to do on your own so it’s best to turn to a personal development coach.

A life coach is especially trained to bring out your strengths and weaknesses and to guide you through a personal development plan.

After an initial assessment, he will create a specific strategy to help you achieve your goals. Together you will discuss the issues that are troubling you; they can be emotional, mental, spiritual. Or they can be related to relationships or work. It’s up to you to tell him what areas of your life you would like to improve. Perhaps you would like him to address a concern you are having with confidence. You have a very low self-esteem and your level of confidence is practically zero. He will devise a plan which will help you gain self-confidence.

The coach will not only work on the areas you mention but he will “analyze” you and pinpoint the weak aspects you present. In short, he will improve your overall condition. This way you will be better prepared to face any real life situation.

If you are looking for a job, for example, and you don’t have much confidence, you will be nervous and you might not even have the courage to apply for a position. You will be even more nervous if you don’t have good communication skills. How can you face a job interview if you can’t put two words together decently?

What about the skills needed for this particular job. Do you have them? Have you asked yourself if you are qualified to do this specific kind of work? Do you have what it takes? Well, the coach will help determine your skills and qualities and enhance your chances of landing the job.

Going back to your lack of self-esteem, this is a huge obstacle, both for employment as for human relations. By increasing your confidence, your coach will increase your possibilities of getting a job. One of the methods he will use to build your self-esteem is by teaching you new skills, especially those needed for the job you want. The more you know, the more you can do and the more confident you become. 

By increasing your knowledge and skills, you will also be open to various career paths, you will have more choices to pick from. If you find one job not satisfactory, you can plan to change it. The strength and skills you gain from personal development will make you more “palatable” to employers. They are always on the look-out for people who are confident, enthusiastic and who have strong communication skills.

How to be an awesome and charismatic motivational speaker

“Everybody wants to be a cat, because a cat’s the only cat who knows where it’s at” (The Aristocats, 1970. Walt Disney)

That was way back in the years gone by. In more recent times, everybody wants to be a motivational speaker. Well, almost everybody, or at least, those who have a gift for public speaking.The reason for choosing this profession is that there is a huge demand for it. Why? For many reasons.

The economic crisis, wars, bombings, terrorism, instability, insecurity, etc. Watch the news on TV and you see disasters, read the newspapers and you will be  bombarded with even more disasters. This will make anyone gloomy and depressed. Where does one go, what does one do, who does one turn to? Well, to someone who will provide comfort, advice and inspiration.

That someone is a motivational speaker.

A motivational speaker is a life coach, a person who has a lot of experience and who has a story to tell. Usually a story about overcoming an obstacle, a difficulty and surviving. He wants to share his story with others so that they can learn from his experience, sort of, well, if he can do it, so can we. True, but not everyone has the willpower, the ability, the knowledge to face hardship and come out stronger than ever.

Knowledge. One of the most important characteristics of a motivational speaker. He has to know a LOT. In order to inspire others, he obviously needs to be an expert in something. He can’t just go in front of people and talk about random subjects. No one will take him seriously. But if he specializes in a particular topic he will become known as an authoritative speaker on this subject. But his knowledge should not be limited to one field only. The more he knows the more he will be in demant. The way to knowledge is through reading. Endless reading. A coach must be a fountain of knowledge. He must be able to advise his followers on practically everything. They will turn to him for inspiration and motivation. He has to have answers. Experience is the best way to get answers. So if the coach is not so young, he can easily use his past experience, as example but if he is a newcomer or younger person, maybe there is less experience. So reading will provide the answers.

The above is a brief description of a normal, ordinary, motivational speaker. There are many such speakers . There are also many amazing world class motivational speakers but to be an unforgettable, sensational motivational speaker, you have to stand out. Besides the standard characteristics excellent communication skills, expertise, stage presence and charisma, you need to have something outstanding. Something that will make people remember you. That certain something is generosity. Most speakers charge a fortune for their services. All well and good if it’s directed to business people, but if it’s for the common people, poor unemployed people there should be no fees, or if anything, the event should  be at cost. Otherwise the only one getting rich will be the speaker.